Thursday, January 19, 2006

crystalizing

I have to be quick because I'm posting this at the library and there's supposed to be a 15-minute limit on this computer. Just wanted to check in and say that although we've been laptop-less for the last 24 hours, life is very good right now. I had a fabulous couple of days in Portland. Tuesday was a day-long artist date. I took a gazillion photos and will post some of them if I can get back into the laptop soon.

I didn't write morning pages on Monday or Tuesday, and didn't get to them until after work on Wednesday (waiting for J. to pick me up from work). But I did write them this morning. We were both still wiped out from our trip last night, so we turned in early which meant we were also up VERY early. After Jeffrey left for work, I dressed and hopped on my bike. Six thirty this morning found me pedaling my way through the foggy darkness to a Starbucks. I'd barely made a dent in the reading for Week 2. I got my grande decaf latte and a bran muffin and sat down to read the chapter. I read the week's reading plus the exercises and was reminded that some of my favorite AW exercies are in week 2. I plan to do some of them tonight.

Here's what I realized this morning while writing my MP's... Last week's 5 imaginary lives exercise was very revealing, because the 5 I chose weren't far-fetched. And I realized on Tuesday that I'm basically doing them--writing, photographing, self-publishing, traveling. And also just how much I like doing all of those things. So when the laptop froze up last night, I really didn't freak out. Not because I don't want to keep using it, but because I realized when I couldn't use it just how much I've come to love what I use it for.

I love reading your blogs and commenting and the connection and interchange that goes on...but what crystallized for me losing the use of the laptop is just how much I love creating with it. It might not seem creative to some people, but I find it very gratifying to write and publish my blog. I learn a lot about myself in the process. There was a time in my life when I would have freaked out over losing my internet connection because I was feverishly addicted to blogging for blogging's sake. But this isn't that. This is me realizing that I'm not so far away from what I want to do. In fact, I'm doing it...I'm just not getting paid for it...yet.

Sorry I'm not able to stop by all of your blogs right now, but know that I'm with you in spirit. I'm so loving being a part of this group--it's already giving me big payoffs...and we're only in week 2.

7 Comments:

At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had some similar realizations! The imaginary lives I've picked in the past are not that far flung from things I have either explored in depth since or still make a big part of my life. And I also find blogging to be VERY creative. I'm so glad we're doing this.

 
At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your second to last paragraph applies to me exactly! And other realizations... :)

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Kara said...

Sorry about your laptop. And though I am new to your blog - both this one and California Fever I am very delighted by your creativity. That love of creating shines through to your readers.

 
At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

marilyn, once again i have to say, "you rock!!"

i love the realizations you've come to. and by god, the work you do on your laptop is absolutely creative! your writing is amazing as is your photography and you've put together your own self-published books! you're amazing!

*big huge hugs*

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger liz elayne lamoreux said...

I have the same feeling about blogging. It has invited me to tap into something I forgot lived inside me...and as this feeling began to breathe I suddenly realized that I might want to name this breathing feeling creativity. It is reassuring to read about others who have similar feelings. Hope your laptop starts breathing again soon too...

 
At 4:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must admit that I slather over laptops. I yearn for one, I whine for one, I told Beaux the other day that it would make a great present for 'my' anniversary. Oops, I meant ours! ;)

Your laptop is definitely a tool for your creativity - just as much as a paintbrush or a pencil, in my eyes. I always say that my blog was my sidewalk back to creativity, but that's just because it sounds better than saying it was an INTERSTATE express lane back to creativity, back to the true me.

 
At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Identifying with what you said and with the words of samantha above. Blogging has allowed me to uncover and share a part of me that has been lost for a while. And the kindred spirits I've found along the way? Priceless.

 

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