Saturday, February 25, 2006

American Darling Valve


Okay, here it is: the absolute embarrassing truth. I didn't do SQUAT this week on AW. Zip. Zero. A big fat enchi-nada. Didn't write a single morning page (for the second week in a row). Didn't get caught up on my chapters in the AW book (I'm still on Week 5). Didn't do any exercises. Didn't do an artist date.

I had good intentions when I rose early this morning. I planned to break out my spiral notebook and fountain pen and get down to business. And then I planned to catch up on the chapter reading--weeks 5 through 8. Oh...but let me just check email first. And maybe I'll read just a few blogs, since I'm a couple of days behind due to work overload. Next thing I knew, hours had gone by. Crap.

But the sun is shining and it's warm outside. So when Jeffrey got home (after only half a day's work...yay!) I walked around the corner to get us some Japanese take-out for lunch. And after we ate I grabbed the camera and said I was going out for an artist date. While waiting for our food, it occurred to me to challenge myself to take photos of only things I could find on our block. So I circled the block twice, slowly, and let my eyes wander. I saw things I've seen many times before (we've lived here 10 months) and things I'd never noticed before (including an adorable little house on the opposite side of the block that I've walked and ridden by a gazillion times and never noticed--it's tucked back from the street a bit). The result was what you see here. Nothing exciting, except that I paid attention. Or maybe I should say that I walked with intention. Speaking of which...

I really do intend to stay in the AW mix. My lack of involvement has a lot to do with being super-busy at work the past few weeks. I'm regularly working overtime, but it's a good kind of busy. But I come home feeling a bit fried, like I don't want to do anything other than grab some dinner and lie like a slug on the couch watching TV, reading the newspapers and dozing. And maybe I just hit that spot that Cameron talks about--where you begin to develop a love/hate relationship with AW. I noticed a few weeks ago that I went from really enjoying writing morning pages to absolutely dreading them, and feeling unable to focus for more than a page. Life is full of rhythms...I'll eventually find mine again in AW.

One thing's for sure...even though I might not be feeling inspired by the process right now, I'm incredibly inspired by the AW group. Y'all rock!!

10 Comments:

At 6:15 PM, Blogger Julie said...

I know keeping up with the AW is challenging, but I'm going to invite you to pick up your pen tomorrow morning and write those three pages. Just do that and *then* see if you want to read. Perhaps ask yourself what you don't like about the AW right now. Where did you get stopped? Let me know what happens!

I love that you walked around your block for an AD. So often I think I have to do something big and far away or at least on the other side of the city. I forget that even the smallest of things when done with attention and intention can be rejuvenating.

Yes, I love this great city of San Francisco. There is no place I would rather live!

 
At 10:28 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Nice photos, and what a neat idea - I may borrow it and try a similar thing in our neighborhood - assuming I keep up my inspiration. (I've kept up with the morning pages but not been good about actually working on my poetry, even if other things have gotten done - sigh. Made a commitment to myself for a half hour today and...well. Ahem. Nothing. (And at this hour, I'm for bed. The mental clarity to do any of that has long since fled the building.)

If you can, pick up the pen and try the morning pages again. Even if the pages themselves bite, think of the energy from the other AW bloggers cheering you on when you say you're doing them again!

And please say you're not going to try to catch up on the exercises, just read the missed chapters? If you try to do them - unless you do them one week at a time - I really think you'd be sabotaging yourself. I think either moving forward one week per week, or skipping the missed ones except to read for content and do any really neat-looking exercises, is probably a lot more doable.

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger kellie said...

Hi, Marilyn!

Thanks for visiting and commenting at my blog. I love your picture collage! I am trying to get over my resistance to learning digital photography--which I have needed to do for my business for a long time. You have inspired me to get out there and just do it. I also loved your opening lines here--and "enchi-nada" made me laugh out loud. I would also vote for not trying to do all those exercises. I normally have the feeling I have to go back and do everything I've missed, but it always feels better to cut the losses for the most part and ride the momentum of the present-day tasks. Good luck!

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger Otter said...

Each of your photos has at least one story to tell. There are 25 photos. I think you have made up for lost time! I love how you put them all together. Collage College Graduate?

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger Leah said...

((hugs)) we're all human. everyone here has said what i was thinking, go for the mp's first, then read and sprinkle in the exercises as you go, but don't feel the need to "catch up" completely cause sometimes having too much to do can make you run screaming in the other direction. hehe...

 
At 6:01 PM, Blogger Teri said...

Super cool photo collage! I might borrow the idea too. See, you're inspiring people left and right!

I've been out of the AW groove myself but still love checking in with other Way-ward souls. :)

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger Kara said...

Love the photos and the way you presented them is really nice. It's inspiring actually to see these little details of your neighborhood. My neighborhood is very different, but I think for an artist date soon I will be out with my close up lens and maybe I can present mine the same way.
I wouldn't worry about catching up on the AW. It's great to have you back at this blog, but I pop into your main blog - though I don't always leave a comment there. I think what myself and all these comments are saying is we like hearing about your AW experience even when it isn't directly related to Cameron's exercises...hee, hee.

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Folkgirl said...

I'm having the same problems. Good intentions, little action.

I think the collage is a great piece, though, and embodies what Cameron keeps telling us - to pay attention to the little things and we will be greatly surprised about what they bring us.

 
At 6:26 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Hee! Thank you for your comments on my post. Whem I say I want to be able to return to my job - I kinda like my job - plus, unless I've gotten my "win the lottery" item, I could use a job, in which case if I like this one, keeping it would be good. :)

 
At 7:05 PM, Blogger eliza said...

i'm glad to have you back, however you're doing the program.

 

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